Forgiveness An Important Lesson
Possibly one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do is to forgive someone. Especially if that someone has dealt you some great personal wounds or assaults. Perhaps you have been sexually assualted as a child. The notion of forgiving that perpetrator seems unthinkable. And there are countless other ways that you have been injured by another person or persons. These too, all need to be forgiven.
However, before you flip the switch, just hear me out. I too, have been such a victim.
Trust me, forgiveness is vitally important for your healing process. You do want to heal and feel better, don’t you?
Doing this one thing will turn out to be one of the most crucial and best things you can do, for you. During this process you will learn the most important lesson to learn about forgiveness.
It Is All About You
That lesson is that:
As much as you’d like to think that holding a grudge and thinking badly about the other person is hurting them, that’s not usually the case.
By you holding on to unforgiveness you hold on to the:
- desire for revenge
- wanting to lash out either verbally
- attacking back physically
Your desire is to lash out against the other person. You want to make them hurt just like they hurt you. However, by internalizing and holding all of that pain inside, you will achieve exactly the opposite result.
In fact, the only person you are hurting by refusing to forgive and let the hurt go is – you. That’s right; the one paying the price is YOU.
What About The Other Person?
The other person isn’t feeling the anger and pain. Chances are he or she aren’t even wasting another thought on what happened. This person has:
- moved on,
- living life,
- and being happily oblivious of the pain that has been inflicted on you.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean
Yet you feel like you have to:
- hang on to that pain,
- you have to hold the grudge all so the other person doesn’t “win”.
- Somehow forgiveness feels weak
- and it seems that if you forgive and move on, you’re giving the other person a free pass.
But here’s the thing. Forgiveness doesn’t mean:
- you’re letting them get away with something
- that what happened didn’t happen
- the slate is wiped clean
- and it certainly doesn’t mean that you condone and agree with what they’ve done.
It Is Time To Move On
It simply means that you’re ready to move on. You need to forgive so you can get past this. You need to forgive so that you can start to heal. By forgiving, you will loose the chains that bind you to the other person.
Forgiveness means that you are no longer bound to this other person. You are able to break the “soul ties”. By forgiving, you can become happy again, thus allowing you to focus on the rest of your life.
Forgiveness Isn’t Easy
It’s not going to be easy, forgiveness never is. The greater your pain, the harder the act of forgiving will be.
But it is well worth it and not because it makes you a better person (it does), or because it’s the right thing to do (it is), but because it will free you and help you much more than the other person in the long run.
Be the stronger person, do the right thing, and practice forgiveness.
You’ll be glad you did when:
- that weight lifts off your shoulders,
- the wounds start to heal,
- and you get to experience the sweetest revenge of them all –
living a long and happy life without wasting another thought on the other person or the bad things that happened.
Remember, the most important lesson to learn about forgiveness is that it is all about YOU!